Tag Archives: sarah douglas

Top Ten Divas of Schlock

schlockdiva10If you listened to the latest episode, you heard guest Abby Denson read her “Top Ten Divas of Schlock” list on the show. You probably also heard us mention that the list would be posted on the website. Well, as promised, Abby has written out her list for us, and also delivered a cool picture! Thanks, Abby!   -The Editor (a.k.a. Marc)

In honor of Women’s History Month, I’ve put together a Top Ten Divas of Schlock list! These are some of my favorite strong (yet feminine) characters from films covered so far on the Schlock Treatment podcast.

10. The Misfits (from Jem) – their songs ARE better!

9. Meg Foster, who in all of her roles (including Masters of the Universe, They Live, and Leviathan) has shown us all the power of having terrifying eyes!

8. Marjoe Gortner in Starcrash… Whoops! I meant Caroline Munro.
Who says Han Solo couldn’t be a lady?

7. Pam Grier as seen in Escape From LA & Friday Foster. Those roles weren’t her most bad-ass, but she certainly deserves a place on this list!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asRpdmlCNA4

6. Mariangela Melato as General Kala in Flash Gordon. Her costumes, brainwashing, and torture techniques are classic camp!

5. Sarah Douglas, who was gorgeous and tough as Queen Taramis in Conan the Destroyer, AND she had the best outfits! Love her!

4. Mary Woronov, whose role of Principal Togar in Rock ‘n’ Roll High School inspired disciplinarians everywhere!

3. Lair of the White Worm’s Amanda Donohoe made being an ancient lady snake vampire seem so glamorous! Also, she had an awesome house and fantastic outfits.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJo9-sO-qIU

2. In Conan the Destroyer, Grace Jones taught us all, that in matters of romance it is best to “Grab him, and take him!”

1. Sandahl Bergman, whose role in She kicked off all of the Schlock Treatment fun to begin with! And let’s not forget her roles in Conan the Barbarian, Hell Comes to Frogtown, and Red Sonja too.

In the Honorable Mention category we have:
The icy cool Dr. Mengers in Piranha (only she pronounces it “piranya”) played by screen legend Barbara Steele!
And Boy George (you don’t necessarily have to be a woman to be a diva) who starred as his fabulous self in The A-Team episode “Cowboy George”!

Feel free to add your favorites in the comments section!

Abby Denson
www.abbycomix.com
www.citysweettooth.com

Treatment 139 – Spitfire

ThomersonSometimes things just won’t settle down and get back to normal. Yep, we are Doug-less for the second week in a row, but still we struggle on! This week we find a very weird schlock entry to help us cope.

Spitfire

Hey, it has Tim Thomerson and Sarah Douglas in it! How bad could it be, right? Well, in actual fact, it could be very bad. It could be flipping gymnastics move to dodge a bullet bad! It could also be Lance Henricksen as a suave, womanizing spy bad! It could also be hire gymnasts to do their own acting bad! It’s bad, is all we’re saying. But fun!

TUMBLE… for Kirk, as he yet again shares the art of the “Kirk Joke,” and reveals a penchant for “Poobs!!”

FLIP… when Matt describes the delicate art of “dipping” things in “camelflage!!!”

GYMKATA… or something… as Marc reveals the name of his uncle’s dog!!

Find this week’s movie on Netflix Instant, if you’re interested. Also, be sure to head over to iTunes and write us a review! We always read new reviews on the show, though, so prepare for the humiliation. Also, if you’re a Stitcher user, please add us to your favorites!

Next week: We stick with the action genre a bit longer, but toss in a little video game awfulness when we watch Jean-Claude Van Damme and Raul Julia in Street Fighter!!

Treatment 130 – The People That Time Forgot

HoganAjorThe sixties make a comeback, with this episode. Except they do it via a movie from 1977. Weird, right? Also, we see the return of Sarah Douglas!

The People That Time Forgot

We have play-doh dinosaurs, really bad models of boats and planes, armored floor sweepers, busty cave women, and booze of course! We’re all over the place on this one, but the movie is so bad that simply criticizing the abuse of the laws of physics is boring.

GASP… for breath as the mailbag reveals the first good letter in some time, and a slew of new iTunes reviews that need to be read!!!

FLY… into danger, as Kirk does his amazing Pterodactyl impression!!!

WONDER… at Doug‘s bizarre invention of a Chuck-E-Cheese that’s tailored to bachelorette parties!!!

You can find The People That Time Forgot on netflix instant, or maybe even in your local video store (it’s probably checked out)! In the mean time, head over to the iTunes for your nation of primary residence and write us a review!! Then come back here, and leave us a comment telling us what country it is! Thanks, gang!

Also, if you’re a Stitcher user, please add us to your favorites! We suck in the rankings there!

Next Week: It’s TAKE TWO for Lone Wolf McQuaid, since Matt will be too busy to join us. Not sure of his aversion…I think it’s Chuck Norris.

Treatment 115 – Solarbabies

SolarbabiesOkay, so we slipped a bit last week. But don’t worry, because this week we are back on form (though minus one). And we jump back into the swing of things with a heaping helping of kid glurge in the shape of…

Solarbabies!

It’s a post-apocalyptic feel-good bit of cheese with a cast of thousands of wonderful character actors like Terrence Mann, Sarah Douglas, Charles Durning, Richard Jordan, and even Peter DeLuise! Oh, yeah…it also has Jaime Gertz, Adrian Pasdar and Jason Patric.

SKATE…your way back into the swing of things, as Marc and Matt reunite against their common enemy, Kirk!!!

ROLL… your eyes as Marc manages to confuse Shelley Duvall for Shelly Long for the entire podcast!!!

SCORE…big time, as Doug coins the new term: Dawson’s Creeking!!!

Solarbabies is currently streaming on Netflix, and we advise caution. It’s also free for Prime Members on Amazon, if you’re one of those. Check our store to find a link. When you’re done there, be sure to head to iTunes and subscribe to the podcast there! Also, if you’re a Stitcher user, we have a link to our show to the right!

Next Week: We’re taking on TV yet again! This time it’s the pilot film for the TV Show, AIRWOLF! So, don’t miss it!

Treatment 72 – Conan the Destroyer

After a long stretch of boring truck movies, we decided to bring some action to the show! To that end, we’re doing a string of bad sequels to great films! And we’re kicking it off, with the sequel to a sword and sorcery classic!

Conan the Destroyer

Destroyer fails on several counts despite a great cast and a wonderful template from the first film, Conan the Barbarian! It features a meandering, and pointless plot, an exceedingly annoying sidekick, and a relative lack of nudity and gore. Disappointing, to say the least. The schlock docs all admit to enjoying it, despite it’s shortcomings, though.

GRAB IT… with us, as we discuss the joys of Grace Jones‘ performance!!!

TAKE IT… as we read a couple iTunes reviews, and reveal an Easter egg (just in time for easter) on our iTunes page!!!

PUNCH THE CAMEL… again, and again, as we somehow manage to discuss Titanic, Indiana Jones, and an imaginary conversation between André the Giant and Arnold Schwarzenegger!!!

You can find Conan the Destroyer on Netflix, and in our store as either an Amazon Video on Demand, or a DVD! You can also go to iTunes to find the aforementioned Easter Egg in Johnny Slick‘s review! While you’re there, subscribe to the podcast, rate us, and write us a review!

Next Week: We continue with bad sequels to good films, and revisit the musical genre! We cover the mediocre sequel, Grease 2!!