Tag Archives: ninja

Treatment 255 – Ninja III: The Domination

Ninja-III-Domination-1984We’re back after a three-week dry spell for this first podcast of 2016! Matt could unfortunately not join us, but we called in a pair of big guns for backup. A couple of regulars and old friends stop by to help us stand up to…

Ninja III: The Domination!

Abby picks up on the litany  of Golan-Globus’ “influences” behind their choices!

Marcus finds the scene that Roman Polanski ripped off from Ninja III!

Doug reminisces on days spent at the sword store!

Next time: No show next week again, but then we’ll get to the DMX classic, Cradle 2 the Grave!

Treatment 201 – RoboCop the 3rd

robert-john-burke-as-robocop-in-robocop-3

The third week of Thanks But No Thanks, on the tails of Marc’s triumphant return, finds the fellas with the Ghost of Don Pardo, discovering what the heart truly wants, fumbling with math, song names and Police Academy sequel titles, all in service of Kirk’s pick…

RoboCop 3!

Wrestler count this week: 1, Sting. Fried chicken commercial count: 1, RoboCop.

Kirk invents a new species of robutt!

Doug reboots every movie soundtrack ever!

Matt reveals the white man’s devil’s secret weakness!

Next week: No surprise this time, as Marc McDonald returns with his TBNT pick, The NeverEnding Story!!!

Treatment 132 – Miami Connection

MiamiConnection-JohnI think we’ve been requested to cover a pretty long list of films over the years. And, of course, we thank our listeners for recommendations and suggestions. And sometimes we even end up liking the movies that are recommended to us. I think Lifeforce was an example of this. Anyway, we have another flick this week that was recommended by , I think, several listeners. And so we are covering it, now that it’s available streaming.

Miami Connection

This is a beauty of a film. It has ninjas, motorcycles, rock bands, awful dialogue, unlikely situations, bad costumes, bad fighting, stiff acting, and the list goes on and on! It’s a darling of the bad movie circuit, so it’s a natural fit with Schlock Treatment. Luckily, Matt had a hot date with the Nerd Lunch podcast, so we were prevented from going on and on about the film for 5 hours straight.

ROCK… your world, as Kirk reveals his true feline nature!!!

ROLL… with the punches, as Matt discusses the only part of the movie that he really cares about!!!

KICK ASS… as Doug adds a laugh track to the show, and Marc provides the jokes that are bad enough to need a laugh track!!!

Find Miami Connection on Netflix instant RIGHT NOW! We assure you that it is worth it! Also, while you’re at it, head over to iTunes and leave us a 5-star rating and a review! We always read listener reviews on the show, so do it! This is your chance for internet STARDOM! Also, if you’re a stitcher user, you can find us on there as well. Click the button to the right, and add us to your favorites today!

Next Week: We’re starting a month-long theme for July! It’s Summer Reruns! We’re watching your favorite crappy old TV shows and talking about them all month, so stay tuned!!! Next week it’s The A-Team (season 4, “Cowboy George” episode) and Knight Rider (season 1, “Trust Doesn’t Rust” episode) to start the month off right!

Treatment 108 – The Octagon

TheOctagonI know that it’s hard to believe, but we somehow managed to go the entire life of our show without ever covering a Chuck Norris movie. Seriously! In a show about bad movies, we never once touched a Norris film!! Amazing, right? Okay, so we briefly talked about his brother during lesser siblings month, but that’s as close as we ever got!

Until now.

The Octagon

Oh yeah, we got Chuck, and we got him in all his excessively hairy, moustachioed, lifeless-line-delivering glory!! The Octagon, might just be the most boring ninja film ever made…with the exception of Ninja Vengeance, of course! But it’s okay, because this time we had the help of the amazing Ralph Santiago III of the RS3Feed!!!

 

KICK… back and enjoy a long-winded discussion about how to join a secret terrorist organization by looking in the white pages!!!

PUNCH…through…something, as we weirdly end up talking about the ancient American laws that ban ninja activity!!!

HIDE… under the leaves of our craziness and jump out and surprise the foe that is boredom by hearing about widow’s peaks and tonsures!!!

As usual, find The Octagon on Netflix Instant (for now), if you feel like watching it. Yeah, it’s pretty inscrutable. We also found the DVD on Amazon…check our store for that. In the mean time, head to iTunes and write us a rave review for the podcast!!! We DEMAND IT!! Please? Then  subscribe for next week’s episode!

Next Treatment: We’re heading under the sea! No, not to deal with carribean-accented crabs, but to deal with a giant monster! It’s LEVIATHAN!!

Treatment 91 – American Ninja 4: The Annihilation

This week we feature the 4th in an infamous series of awful movies. No, we’re not talking about Adam Sandler‘s 4th movie, we’re talking Dudikoff! And talking about Dudikoff mean’s we’re talking about ninjas!

American Ninja 4: The Annihilation

Yup, Dudikoff is back, and this time he joins the guy who was in American Ninja 3! Wow! Yeah, we weren’t quite that excited either (except for Matt). Sure, he doesn’t show up until 45 minuted into the film, but he does wear a bright yellow ninja uniform. So, there’s plenty to talk about. We actually found this film to be pretty entertaining, so we recommend checking it out.

MEDITATE… as we discuss the myriad failings of the giant hordes of ninjas that flood this movie!!!

FIGHT…. the urge to ask”what the hell” of this movie, as we discuss the sudden appearance of the cast of Road Warrior!!!

SLASH… the left eye of weirdness, when we question the point of the character known as “Super Ninja!!!”

You can find American Ninja 4 on Netflix Instant. We also saw it in full on Youtube, if you want to check it out there. After watching it, head to iTunes and write a review for our podcast! Also, be sure to subscribe, so you can join us next week!

Next Treatment: We’re gettin’ gory, with Riki-Oh: The Story of Riki! Good stuff!

Sean, you can find me at the school.

Treatment 63 – Enter the Ninja

"It's a living!"

The great Sho Kosugi and the wondrous Franco Nero make their triumphant returns to Schlock Treatment in this episode! It’s a movie that we’ve been wanting to cover since the inception of the show!

Enter the Ninja

Yep, it’s another cheesy ninja film, and it’s every bit as awful as the other Sho Kosugi films we’ve seen. There are pointless backflips, unconvincing white ninja masters, ridiculous uses of ninja weaponry, and plenty of villains in white suits!

FLIP… for ninjas that will only kill for “good causes” and issue a “license” to ninja!!!

SNAP… the neck of boredom as the guys discuss the embarrassment of wearing a wet white ninja outfit, and the strange world of ninja sartorial choices!!!

EXPLODE… pointless clouds of smoke around the idea of properly wording one of those jokes where you say “Marc puts the [x] in [something with ‘x’ in it]!!!” (Apparently some people don’t have to make sense to get laughs.)

As always, this week’s film is available on Netflix Instant! You can also look for Enter the Ninja on demand or on DVD from Amazon through our store! Please be sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, and drop us a rating if you can!

Next week’s episode: Tim Curry, Ernie Hudson, and Bruce Campbell return to the show in the famously bad Crichton adaptation, Congo!!