This was a big one–we needed a hand with a project this sizable. We’re joined once again by our old friend and future Schlock Treatment Hall-of-Famer, Kirk Howle! (He has experience with this sort of thing, you know.) This week, we travel to a strange dimension, one of goofy sights and terrible sounds, as we try to determine just who are the…
If you listened to the latest episode, you heard guest Abby Denson read her “Top Ten Divas of Schlock” list on the show. You probably also heard us mention that the list would be posted on the website. Well, as promised, Abby has written out her list for us, and also delivered a cool picture! Thanks, Abby! -The Editor (a.k.a. Marc)
In honor of Women’s History Month, I’ve put together a Top Ten Divas of Schlock list! These are some of my favorite strong (yet feminine) characters from films covered so far on the Schlock Treatment podcast.
10. The Misfits (from Jem) – their songs ARE better!
9. Meg Foster, who in all of her roles (including Masters of the Universe, They Live, and Leviathan) has shown us all the power of having terrifying eyes!
8. Marjoe Gortner in Starcrash… Whoops! I meant Caroline Munro.
Who says Han Solo couldn’t be a lady?
2. In Conan the Destroyer, Grace Jones taught us all, that in matters of romance it is best to “Grab him, and take him!”
1. Sandahl Bergman, whose role in She kicked off all of the Schlock Treatment fun to begin with! And let’s not forget her roles in Conan the Barbarian, Hell Comes to Frogtown, and Red Sonja too.
In the Honorable Mention category we have:
The icy cool Dr. Mengers in Piranha (only she pronounces it “piranya”) played by screen legend Barbara Steele!
And Boy George (you don’t necessarily have to be a woman to be a diva) who starred as his fabulous self in The A-Team episode “Cowboy George”!
Feel free to add your favorites in the comments section!
Podcast favorites Ernie Hudson and Meg Foster make their triumphant returns on this week’s episode. Matt also makes his triumphant return to attempting to be musical and failing! For other attempts, see The After Movie Diner.
Anyhoo, we dive back into the horror genre this week, and pay the price for our arrogance by having to suffer through this flushed turd of a film.
It’s a sort of The Abyss meets Alien meets The Thing meets Heavenly Bodies. I’m not selling it right, because that sounds amazing and this film really and truly isn’t. Take our word for it. Or just listen to the show.
GASP FOR AIR…. as Doug reveals the horror of Fish Draculas and Kirk reveals the horror of Juggalos!!!
CLAW FOR THE SURFACE… as Matt complains that the movie keeps fulfilling his stupid desires!!!
TURN BLUE FROM ASPYXIATION… as Marc theorizes that Matt gets drunk before every recording session!!!
As always, find the movie (if you really want to) on Netflix Instant! We also added the DVD and the on-demand rental to our store, if you’re so inclined. Please be sure to head over to iTunes and rate the podcast, or write us a review! Then be sure to subscribe for next week!
I guess it could be argued that John Carpenterfilms don’t count as schlock. Truth be told, we are all huge fans. In fact, if I have my way, we’ll certainly cover a few more. But, from a mainstream standpoint, films like this week’s episode are not mega-hits, so that’s good enough for us. Our choice for the first Carpenter film to cover?
It’s arguably a classic, definitely a cult classic. But it’s also a weird sci-fi movie featuring a 20 minute back-alley brawl, aliens that you can see if you wear the right sunglasses, some wildly over-the-top consumerist fear-mongering, and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Sounds like fodder for our show!!
REVEL… in our constant derailing of the conversation to cover such topics as the Gargoyles cartoon, and Masters of the Universe!!
DELIGHT… as Doug reveals the surprise gift he brought for Matt!!!
WHORE… your way into our hearts to get some cheap publicity, like we give to several folks at the start of this episode!!!
All this and more, on this week’s incredibly long (sorry, we rambled) episode of Schlock Treatment! So, subscribe to the podcast today, and check out They Live on netflix or in our store. Then listen to us yammer.