Tag Archives: 90s movies

Time Runner Starring Mark Hamill Loved Guns

I believe that Kirk has started a trend. Here’s another animated advert for this week’s treatment, Time Runner starring Mark Hamill. Get used to the phrase.

As usual, find Time Runner on Netflix Instant. You can also find On Demand rental at Amazon through our store! Check it out and join us this weekend for the podcast!

Thoughts on the latest xtranormal promo spot? Comments? Use the designated section to add them!

Treatment 8 – Dollman vs. Demonic Toys

They’re baaaaaaaack!

Yes, this week’s treatment marks the return of the world’s most irritating toys. And this time, they’re up against our favorite 13″ tall cop, Brick Bardo, a.k.a. Dollman!

The movie is , of course, Dollman vs. Demonic Toys! And at an appropriately diminutive¬† 62 minutes in run-time, it’s one of the easiest films to watch so far. Tim Thomerson returns as Brick Bardo, and this time he happily gets a girlfriend in the form of Nurse Ginger. She makes a return appearance, played by Melissa Behr,¬† after her shrinking by aliens in another Full Moon film, Bad Channels. If the other Full Moon Entertainment films are any indication, you should avoid it.

Add the return of Tracy Scoggins as demon-bait cop, Judith Grey (from Demonic Toys), and you have a showdown of epic proportions just waiting to be botched utterly by the inept folks at Full Moon! Don’t worry, they don’t disappoint.

SWOON… as the ST gang wonders what it would be like to be inside the beautiful Nurse Ginger’s drawers!!!

CRINGE… as Doug treats us to a reminder of the horribly repetitive giggle of the Jack-in-the-Box Toy!!!

GROAN… as pedantry about inaccuracies of scale makes a return appearance!!!

All this and more is in store for you on this week’s episode of Schlock Treatment!

Treatment 7 – Dollman

“Thirteen inches with attitude.”

That’s one of the tag lines from this week’s Treatment, Dollman, starring Tim Thomerson.

It’s yet another franchise from Full Moon Entertainment about a tough-as-nails cop from another planet when ends up pursuing a fugitive through some kind of dimensional portal or wormhole or something, and landing on Earth. Only one problem, he’s 1/6th the size of the people of Earth. Let’s just say that when it comes to battling Earth criminals, he’s got a really big problem!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!1! (groan!!)

Yes, jokes like that are begging to be made in this film, though somehow get mostly avoided. It’s like the writers set up a long and involved joke, and never got to the punchline!

HEAR…Doug and Marc argue about whether this film is parody or just plain bad!!

FEEL…the joy of hearing the mathematics of scale discussed in painful detail!!

SHIVER…in cathartic joy, as Doug reveals his pick for this film’s ERJ Award winner!!

All this on this our second Treatment in the 2010 holiday lineup for Schlock Treatment!

Treatment 6 -Demonic Toys

Toys, toys, toys!!

What could be more appropriate this time of year than focusing on the items of all of our childhood desires? Of course, we lusted after Transformers, the Hoth Playset, the Snake Mountain with the voice altering microphone, and the Knight Rider Big Wheel. This week’s Treatment, however, features a foul-mouthed baby doll, a snake-clown hybrid-in-the-box, and a ravenous, razor-toother teddy bear of varying size. Could be worse….you could get socks and underwear!

Yes, this week’s Treatment is the oddly derivative, and yet somehow unique Demonic Toys! If you watched it, then you’re probably like us in that you have no idea what the heck was going on. Sixty-six year old demons? Tricycle-riding, gas mask wearing girls turned hustler centerfolds? Hall and Oats as arms dealers?!?!?!

SCRATCH YOUR HEAD…. as we try to puzzle the plausibility of trick-or-treating in 1925!!

BLUSH…. as Marc rather embarrassingly admits he recalls the lead actress from Dynasty!!

LOOK BACK…. on old Treatments, as Kirk and Doug shame Marc with endless call backs to his previous blunders!!

Welcome to another glorious episode of Schlock Treatment!