Category Archives: Top Ten Episodes

Treatment 99 – Creepshow 2

Schlocktober comes slamming to an amazing close, with the movie that you, the listener, picked over all others!! Yes, you voted for it! So, if you’re thinking of holding us responsible, don’t even try it. You wanted this horrendous pile of shit, and you got it. You got exactly what you deserved, you little creeps! And no more wire hangers!!!

Creepshow 2

This one features George Kennedy, and that’s the closest thing to star power it has. Stephen King is up to his old tricks again. And by “tricks” we mean “awful, cliched, boring stories that have the literary merit of a dead baby joke.” Thanks, Stephen King.

THRILL… as Kirk reveals his new guide to making jokes the Kirk way, called “Kirk’sHow 2!!”

SCREAM… in terror, as Doug tries his Vaudeville routine, but Kirk fucks it up!!!

CRINGE… horribly, as the guys discuss the pros and cons of putting date rape in your film!!!

As usual, we make sure to cover something that’s streaming, so you can see Creepshow 2 on Netflix Instant! Head on over and watch it! We also have it available to rent on demand from Amazon! Check our store for links to that and the DVD! Also, be sure to head to iTunes and leave us a review for the podcast!

Next Week: It’s our 100th episode!!! Holy crap! To celebrate, we’re re-visiting the movie that started it all in Episodes 1 & 2, She!! Join us to see how our views have changed, and to find out what Matt thinks of our inaugural film!

 

Treatment 79 – Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Another special guest episode comes flying your way! Only THIS time, the special guest didn’t make it! Unfortunately, guest Ralph Santiago III of the RS3Feed podcast had a mishap and couldn’t make it to the show. We give him a call at the start of the show to get the scoop on that. Fortunately, Jon Cross from The After Movie Diner was in the neighborhood, and joined for a second episode! We still covered Ralph’s movie choice for this week, though.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

This is a goofball horror/comedy from the late 80s, that most people will recall for it’s amazingly creepy clown makeup. Of course, it also features John Vernon and Grant Cramer. And there’s the endless scenes of klown karnage…as we imagine they would refer to it.

HONK… the nose of boredom, as we place a call to Ralph and learn of his horrible dog-walking accident!!!

RIDE THE TINY BICYCLE… of joy as we discuss the hilarity of dialogue like “this isn’t how cotton candy is stored!!!”

THROW A PIE… into the face of tedium, as the guys somehow end up discussing cat-swinging, Chinese Zodiac killers, and swinging cocks at unsuspecting people at make-out point!!!

This week’s movie is available to stream on Netflix Instant, as usual. You can also stream it on Amazon. Find that, the DVD, and even the soundtrack in our store! Also, be sure to look for us on iTunes and subscribe to the podcast to auto-download future episodes! You definitely want to be here for next week’s show!

Next Week: We talk all about Rutger Hauer & Ice-T in Surviving the Game!! Also…Matt should be back….if anyone cares.

Treatment 78 – Bubba Ho-Tep

Well, we’re really in it up to our necks this time. We totally screwed up. See when we let our special guest, Jon Cross from The After Movie Diner podcast, join us for this episode and pick this week’s film, we hadn’t counted on him choosing a film that’s actually good! I mean, the show is called Schlock Treatment, bad movies is what we do! But Jon would have none of it. He insisted, and the result is a podcast rife with appreciation, insight, thoughtful commentary, and genuine appreciation for an actual good movie. What were we THINKING?!?!

Bubba Ho-Tep

Yep, it’s our old pal Bruce Campbell, and he’s back in what is arguably his best film (What? I said “arguably!”). He plays Elvis (or does he) and co-stars with Ossie Davis as JFK (or is he?). The battle a mummy. ‘Nuff said. Watch this film!

KARATE CHOP… your preconceptions about our show, as Jon brings some much needed credibility to this “movie review” podcast!!!

TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS… as we reveal what director Don Coscarelli said about the film in a (very brief) “Twitterview!!!”

Lean BACK AND TO THE LEFT… to take in Marc, Doug and Jon covering topics like, American architecture, fans wearing thongs, guys getting choked up, commentary tracks, and alphabetizing DVDs (it’s a long episode) !!!

Yep, it’s a crazy week, so check it out! You can find Bubba Ho-Tep streaming on Netflix Instant, on Amazon Instant Video, or on DVD from Amazon! Check out our store for the Amazon stuff. We really, really, recommend watching it, by the way. It’s just a great, fun, well done movie! And after you do that, head over to iTunes and subscribe to the podcast! More fun stuff to come!

Next Week: This time, our guest is Ralph Santiago III of the RS3Feed Podcast, and he chose a much schlockier film. We’re watching the classic Killer Klowns from Outer Space for next time.

 

Treatment 75 – Ghostbusters 2

Is it really a bad thing for Hollywood to pump out a sequel to a hugely beloved film, even if it’s sub-par? Isn’t it better to have more of the characters you love than nothing at all? That’s what we discuss this weekend as we review yet another disappointing sequel!

Ghostbusters 2

The whole crew is back in the second effort from writers Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis. But are they as good? Is the plot hackneyed, or just as good as the first? Are the jokes there to induce laughter or vomiting? Opinions are mixed between the Schlock Docs, though everyone agrees that Peter MacNichol steals the show!

TAKE CONTROL… as Marc reveals his theories about the Hollywood formula for sequels!!!

CALL… who you’re going to, as Doug tells the hilarious tale of his drunk friend who fell in the screening of Mr. Bean!!!

BE FILLING WITH JOYFULNESS… as the guys do multiple Jannosh impressions, and declare him the best thing about this movie!!!

Ghostbusters 2 is available streaming on Netflix Instant and on Crackle! It’s also free to stream on Amazon for Prime Members, so look for it in our store! Then be sure to head over to iTunes and rate the podcast! Also, subscribe for next week, when we’ll bring you yet another awful sequel!

Next Treatment: We bring you one more bad sequel with Staying Alive!

Treatment 65 – Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

Do you feel it? Do you feel the beat? Is it moving through you? Does it make you want to move your feet? Well, we do…boy do we feel the beat. Man…can barely keep from dancing, what with that beat.

Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo

Yes, it’s probably the single most famous sequel (at least for the title) of all time! If you grew up in the 80s, you saw this movie. You probably thought Ozone and Turbo were cool, too. We are naturally here to shatter that illusion. It’s what we do.

POP… to the amazing rhymes and beat-boxing of Matt “O-Ring” Ringler, as he freestyles about the movie!!!

LOCK… your door, so you can dance like an idiot and won’t have to worry about someone walking in on you!!!

GIVE… up on Marc, Doug, and Matt as they ramble aimlessly around the plot of this film, and end up talking about Die Hard!!!

Netflix, has Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo available to stream, which is all part of our master plan to allow you to watch this film all over again! It’s not streaming on Amazon, but you can find a link to the DVD in our store! Also, be sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, drop us a 5 star rating, or write us a review!

Next Week: We change gears to cover a classic piece of schlock, Death Race 2000!!!

Treatment 62 – He-Man She-Ra: The Secret of the Sword

“Uh…is that your sword poking my back?” “It’s a secret.”

Everything you fondly recall about your childhood is a lie. The truth is, when you were a tiny little tyke, you had some really shitty taste. This week, we decided to revisit a childhood favorite in the form of a Filmation animated feature/first five episodes of a new series.

He-Man She-Ra: The Secret of the Sword

The secret of this sword, is that it’s a cheap knock-off of the He-Man series, but aimed at girls in the most shallow way possible! We have rip-offs of He-Man characters, only the worst traits seem the most amplified. But, don’t worry, all of your favorite old characters are still there (except Orko) to reassure you that He-Man really wasn’t much more than a giant commercial.

CRINGE…at Marc‘s Cringer impression. It’s not a bad impression, Cringer’s voice is just that hard to listen to!!!

TRANSFORM… your day, as Matt describes his favorite character, Arnold Hordvak!!!

HURL INSULTS… at your MP3 player, as Doug hurls idiotic insults in his best Skeletor voice, and Kirk does his best impression of a horse!!!

If you want to shatter childhood illusions, you can find The Secret of the Sword to stream instantly on Netflix Instant! You can also find it available for digital rental from Amazon through our store! So watch it today, and then join us as we talk about what He-Man toys we had as kids! Also, be sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, and join us for next week’s episode!

Next Week: Holy shit, y’all! We are super excited that Enter the Ninja is streaming again!! We’ll talk Sho Kosugi and Franco Nero next week!