Category Archives: Western

Treatment 264 – Kenny Rogers as The Gambler

http://schlocktreatment.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Treatment-264-Kenny-Rogers-as-The-Gambler.mp3Jump_into_your_s_with_an_34;actually_34;_like...Ground control, we’ve returned from orbit! We’ve woken up to a strange new world like Planet of the Apes, though! This is also a backwards, mixed up madhouse ruled by…

Kenny Rogers as The Gambler!

Matt and Doug go all in with an earth-shattering bomb!

Matt folds ’em on his new version of “The Gambler!”

Doug doubles down on ballooning!

Next week: We have a new special guest, Jessica Cole, to honor BvS when we cover Gigli!

Treatment 212 – The Quick and the Dead

thequickandthedead_640x360Since we’re finally out of January’s theme, we can move into February, now that it’s March. Despite the perils faced the last time Schlock Treatment attempted this, the Matt & Doug Show heads back onto the dangerous plains of the Western when they collect the bounty on…

The Quick and the Dead!

Matt and Doug trace Hugh Grant’s roots for no good reason!

Matt and Doug reveal the tragic origins of Clint Eastwood’s face!

Matt and Doug discuss the merits of Old West parenting!

Next Week: Two return guests join us! We’re finally getting to Marcus Pinn’s much requested Society, and we’ll be joined by he and everyone’s favorite, Ms. Abby Denson! Join us to see if Matt survives this grueling challenge!

Treatment 85 – Posse

Too bad for you that the full-length version of Critters that was on YouTube got yanked by NBC/Universal, because that means we covered this movie instead. Ugh…

Posse

Yep Billy Zane is back, this time as a pirate-faced cowboy chasin’ after gold stolen by a bunch of black soldiers (and Stephen Baldwin). The film is a sort of western pastiche, more than an actual western. Or is it a series of short films? Hell, I don’t know. All I know is it’s chock-full of “that guys,” and Nipsey Russel only gets one line.

SCRATCH YER CRAW… as Matt calls forth all of his incredible improv and acting talent to artfully mimic a person that doesn’t exist and that no one ever dreamed of!!!

WALK THE LINE… of racial harmony, as Marc skates dangerously close to being offensive (according to the other guys)!!!

SADDLE UP…as Doug and Kirk discuss the merits of Roger Waters‘ latest film!!!

As always (and sometimes to our detriment) this week’s film is streaming on Netflix! You can find it there, if you are short on reasons to kill yourself. Turns out, if you have Amazon Prime, you can also stream it for free there! If you’re feeling really desperate, pick up the DVD! You can find all the amazon stuff that’s available in our store! Then head over to iTunes and please leave us a rating! Then subscribe to the podcast to be ready for next week’s episode!

Next Week: The IN-ZANE JULY-LUM is packed with lunacy as we close out this abject failure in film themes with another TV episode! This time, we’re checking out an episode of Murder She Wrote that featured Billy Zane, called A Very Good Year for Murder (season 4, episode 17)!

Treatment 45 -The Mercenary

Oh, man. This is a bad one. I mean this episode is a bad one, not so much this week’s movie. Somehow, we just couldn’t do it this week. We’ve decided to take the bold step of warning listeners to stay away. If anything, just listen to the first and last 10 minutes, and skip the rest. That way you’ll hear us read some letters, and pimp our upcoming Schlocktober movies.

The Mercenary

The film isn’t a bad one, it’s a decent spaghetti western with Jack Palance (our old pal), Franco Nero, and Tony Musante. Frankly, it’s short on schlock. Does this mean it’s too good of a movie for this podcast? Well, we’ve covered better movies, IMHO. But it doesn’t have that special combination of goofiness and incompetence that we come to expect from our films on Schlock Treatment.

WEEP… as the guys try to say something…anything…about this week’s movie, and conversation slowly devolves into a free-form discussion about nothing in particular!!!

LAMENT… as Marc denounces the evil that is Matt‘s weird pair of Charles Nelson Reilly glasses (see photo)!!

BEMOAN… the collapse of all things Shlock Treatment as Doug leaves the room, Matt shuts down, Marc resorts to hurling epithets, and Kirk tries desperately to hold it all together!!

If you are a masochist, feel free to find The Mercenary on Netflix Instant, watch it, and then listen to our show. Frankly, we don’t recommend doing any of those things. About the only thing worth listening to in this entire episode is the announcement of the winners of the Schlocktober Poll! It definitely looks like things are going to get better in Schlocktober, so get on iTunes and subscribe to the podcast!

Next Week: The 3rd place winner in our Schlocktober Listener Poll, Creepshow!!