Category Archives: The 2000s

Treatment 237- xXx: State of the Union

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Matt is back from a one week (real life) vacation and his brain is no longer functioning which makes for a perfect setup to discuss the Ice Cube action fiesta that is

xXx: State of the Union!

Doug throws out one of the greatest impressions for a quick set of jokes that may be one of the greatest moments in this show’s history.

Matt takes pre-show banter to another level by speaking in-depth about some of the other movies he saw on vacation.

Next week: The guys put on their cowboy hats and spurs and chaps and head out west with a pre-controversy Mel Gibson in Maverick!

Treatment 149 – The American Astronaut

americanastronautSchlocktober has come and gone, and though we may look back in shame occasionally, we also look forward with newfound optimism to November and our newest theme: Thanks, but No Thanks!! Don’t worry though, that optimism is crushed (for some of us, anyway) right out of the gate!

The American Astronaut

This is a weird one, kids. Doug chose this one as the first person to go in our attempts to torture one-another. What else can we say, but damn he’s good! Actually, now that I think about it, maybe the whole conceit of this month was more designed to torture just me…

THRILL… as the listener feedback pours in on the contentious topic of Herbert West!!

GASP… as Matt reveals his penchant for bathroom dancing!!!

WONDER… as Kirk does his sound effect of the week, and Doug does his miner impression of the week!!!

You can find The American Astronaut on Netflix Instant, as usual. Also, be sure to head over to iTunes to subscribe to the show, and drop us a review! If you’re one of those anti-Apple people, you can find us on Stitcher.

Next Week: Kirk makes his choice for “Thanks but No Thanks” month, and it’s Godzilla’s Revenge!!!

Treatment 104 – Power Rangers/Fat Albert Christmas Specials

FatAlbertOkay, so here it is, FINALLY! Yeah, yeah, it was slightly delayed. Get over it.

Anyway, Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without some awful TV specials. So, we decided to dig up some of the ones available on Netflix. All we can do is say, “we’re sorry.” Well, everyone is sorry except Matt. Somehow he manages to genuinely like the most awful crap ever.

Power Rangers Samurai: Christmas Together, Friends Forever


The Fat Albert Christmas Special


We pull out the stops and bring you two horribly schlocky Christmas specials this holiday season. They’re bad for different reasons, though. You’ll have to listen to find out what they are.

JINGLE… all the way, as Kirk gets excited about Santa!!!

STUFF… your stockings, when Doug intros the episode with his usual enthusiasm!!!

LUMP…your coal into Matt‘s stocking as he get’s possessed by the spirit of Fat Albert!!!

As always, find both of these Christmas Specials on Netflix Instant! Also, please do us a Christmas solid, and drop by iTunes and rate the podcast FIVE STARS!!! If you write us a review, we’ll even make a point of reading it on the show and making fun of your awful grammar!! YAY!

Next Week: We continue the holiday cheer by bringing back a fan favorite! It’s the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special!!!

Treatment 103 – Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

We continue the holiday themed films, this week, by heading to the wilds of Scandinavia!

A shortage of Christmas schlock meant that we needed to take a chance and try something different. Did our gamble pay off? Did we stumble on a gem? Or did we get the curved end of the candy cane?

Gotta listen to find out!

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

We have kids in purple underwear, naked old guys (by the dozen), and some kind of obsession with gingerbread men in this week’s film. Tone-wise it’s all over the map, and it very nearly leaves us all speechless, as we struggle to describe what exactly was going on in this one. It features a bunch of Norwegians…or Fins…or Swedes. Hell, not really sure. Be prepared to read some subtitles, is all.

BE NAUGHTY… as the guys discuss the horror that is dickbeard!!!

BE NICE… and don’t act like Kirk, as he makes several jokes that bomb….again!!!

BEAT YOUR CHILDREN… to ensure their safety from monsters, as this movie seems to advocate!!!

Rare Exports is available streaming on Netflix Instant, as usual. We also found it available for digital rental from Amazon! You can find the link to that and the DVD in our store. Also, be sure to head over to iTunes and write a review for the podcast! We love ’em! We even read them on the show! DO IT NOW!

Next Week: We continue the Christmas festivities with a couple TV holiday specials! It’s a Power Rangers Christmas Special (already regretting this one), followed by The Fat Albert Christmas Special!! HEY HEY HEY!!


Treatment 78 – Bubba Ho-Tep

Well, we’re really in it up to our necks this time. We totally screwed up. See when we let our special guest, Jon Cross from The After Movie Diner podcast, join us for this episode and pick this week’s film, we hadn’t counted on him choosing a film that’s actually good! I mean, the show is called Schlock Treatment, bad movies is what we do! But Jon would have none of it. He insisted, and the result is a podcast rife with appreciation, insight, thoughtful commentary, and genuine appreciation for an actual good movie. What were we THINKING?!?!

Bubba Ho-Tep

Yep, it’s our old pal Bruce Campbell, and he’s back in what is arguably his best film (What? I said “arguably!”). He plays Elvis (or does he) and co-stars with Ossie Davis as JFK (or is he?). The battle a mummy. ‘Nuff said. Watch this film!

KARATE CHOP… your preconceptions about our show, as Jon brings some much needed credibility to this “movie review” podcast!!!

TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS… as we reveal what director Don Coscarelli said about the film in a (very brief) “Twitterview!!!”

Lean BACK AND TO THE LEFT… to take in Marc, Doug and Jon covering topics like, American architecture, fans wearing thongs, guys getting choked up, commentary tracks, and alphabetizing DVDs (it’s a long episode) !!!

Yep, it’s a crazy week, so check it out! You can find Bubba Ho-Tep streaming on Netflix Instant, on Amazon Instant Video, or on DVD from Amazon! Check out our store for the Amazon stuff. We really, really, recommend watching it, by the way. It’s just a great, fun, well done movie! And after you do that, head over to iTunes and subscribe to the podcast! More fun stuff to come!

Next Week: This time, our guest is Ralph Santiago III of the RS3Feed Podcast, and he chose a much schlockier film. We’re watching the classic Killer Klowns from Outer Space for next time.


Treatment 18- Leprechaun 5: In the Hood

Ice-T and his Afro of Plenty

St. Patty’s Day approaches, so in honor of all the “Irish” people throughout the world (even those who are only Irish on St Patrick’s Day) we thought we should cover something appropriate. And what does a podcast called “Schlock Treatment” consider appropriate?

Leprechaun 5: Leprechaun in the Hood

We mostly hated this film, and we expound at length as to exactly why in this week’s treatment. Kirk, of course, likes this movie. He’s a bit weird. As usual, you can find it on Netflix, and there’s a link to it in our store.

GO FROM BEMUSED TO WEIRDED-OUT… as Kirk does his best rhyming Leprechaun impression!!!

GO FROM IMPRESSED TO SADDENED… as Matt reveals his knowledge of the streets…and Home Alone!!!

BE TOTALLY AMBIVALENT… as Doug and Marc bicker like old ladies about who said what thing first!!!

All that and more on this week’s Schlock Treatment! Subscribe to the podcast today!