All posts by Kirk

Psst! Hey! Watch this thing!

Well, we’ve talked about it on the show before, I’ve gone on other podcasts to promote it, but it’s never actually been posted to the Schlock page… until now! Here’s the first scene of

Juan Johnson and the Warriors of Magic Time: Showdown in the Desert of Doom!

Doug and I wrote it. I spent years animating it. And it’s not even done yet! This is only the first scene! Later scenes will include the voices of some of your favorite podcasters (Matt, Doug, and Marc, to name a just a few), so get excited now because the final episode will probably be done in as little as 10 years from now!
OK, enough jibber jabber. Enjoy the cartoon, you ding dongs.

Treatment 205 – Ernest Saves Christmas

Ernest_face_smushAccording to Matt, this is our BEST EPISODE EVER! That may or may not be true, but it’s definitely one of our drunkest episodes ever as we try our best to talk about

Ernest Saves Christmas!

Matt gets things rolling by pre-gaming at a Christmas work party and then bringing with him a giant bottle of wine and two teeny little bottles of Jack!

Doug  puts Kirk  to shame, cup-flopping past him to no end!

Leopardactyl  shows up!

Next week: We celebrate another year of Schlock greatness by making our selections in best and worst categories for THE FIFTH ANNUAL SCHLOCKIES AWARDSIES!!!

Treatment 196 – Cool World


We’ve all had crushes on cartoon characters at one point in our lives. But most of us don’t decide to make a movie about actually having sex with those characters. Then again, most of us aren’t Ralph Bakshi, the man whose mitts were all over the movie we’re discussing today…

Cool World

Matt is his usual, normal, everyday self!

Kirk is confused that the Noids in this movie aren’t constantly trying to destroy pizzas!

And special guest Abby Denson shares what it is like to have two husbands: a real one and a cartoon one!

Don’t forget to follow Abby on twitter and check out her awesome websites below:

Next week: Explore the deep animalistic recesses of the human psyche with us while a cute little monkey goes on a killing spree in the movie Monkey Shines!

Treatment 195 – Never Too Young to Die


Nothing can stop us from bringing you our discussion of this week’s insanely good/bad movie. Not the extra-long mailbag segment, not the phone interruption, not the painter interruption, NOTHING! And oh, how lucky you are, because this week we bring you…

Never Too Young To Die

Kirk regails us with a pointless story of a dumb thing he did in his youth!

Matt reveals an unfortunate side project taken on by The Who’s Pete Townshend!

Doug (and Kirk) “get fooled again” by Gene Simmons’ mastery of disguise!

Next week: Join us as we watch Brad Pitt try really hard not to fuck a cartoon in creepy old creepmeister Ralph Bakshi’s Cool World!

Treatment 192 – Highlander III: The Sorcerer: The Final Dimension

Highlander_Sorcerer_HeadThere can be only one. Wait, two. No, three! How many of these Highlander movies can they make? Who knows? But on today’s episode we are talking about just one of them, which is called…

Highlander III: The Sorcerer: The Final Dimension 

Matt gets things started with a spot-on Christopher Lambert impression!

Doug talks about polyps!

Kirk hesitates!

Next week: Explore the most outeriest of spaces with us as we explore the sci-fi kids’ movie Explorers!

Treatment 189 – Beauty and the Beast and Quantum Leap

Beauty-and-the-LeapGood news for people who like the idea of fusing humans with animals in one fashion or another! In today’s episode we are talking about two classic TV episodes that do just that, as we discuss…

Beauty and the Beast  and Quantum Leap!

Kirk teaches us how violence can be used to help one prepare to record a podcast!

Matt uses the science of cartoons to teach us how thermometers work!

Doug teaches us the importance of letting your emotions out to avoid catastrophe!

Next week: We venture into cartoon territory of SUMMER RERUNS as we cover The Karate Kid (season 1: episode 6 “All the World His Stage”) and G.I. Joe (season 1: episode 61 “Cold Slither”)!