Deathstalker

Treatment 159 – Deathstalker

DeathstalkerThere’s few things that have quite the potential for awesomeness and awfulness as a sword and sandal flick! And this one is no exception!

Deathstalker

If you’re looking for boobs, look no further. This film has them aplenty! Unfortunately, they usually appear in the context of a horrific gang-rape. Yep. So, this movie sucks.

In this week’s episode: Matt shares his theory about how Marc is every character on Welcome Back, Kotter! Kirk wonders at the amazing sword-wiping pants! Doug shares his impression of Putty from Seinfeld as the Pig Man!

Next Week: We start Schlocksploitation month with Truck Turner!!!

15 thoughts on “Treatment 159 – Deathstalker”

  1. I haven’t listened to the episode yet, so I don’t know if someone else beat me to this joke (my money would be on Doug though), but that Kaira, I’d shoot her in the face (allegedly) if you catch my drift.

          1. Shit, call me Monk because I just solved the case. The Ramones, having seen Deathstalker, allied themselves with Munkar. From then on, each time Phil Spector was intimate with a woman, the woman would turn into a Ramone brother and mock him. Finally reaching his breaking point in 2007, Spector began to suspect all women were secretly the remaining Ramones, and in this rage, he killed Lana Clarkson in the ultimate irony.

            CURSE YOU MUNKAR!!!

  2. I’m concerned you guys are weakening the Schlock Treatment brand by having different hosts week to week. It creates customer confusion.

    1. The word “customer” implies that people are actually paying for this thing. And the word “confusion” implies that anything we ever did made sense. Treatschlocker sees through your illusion, clone of Munkar!

      1. Nope, and that’s probably why you didn’t do it. Only the original is streaming. The only other place I’ve seen it is YouTube, and that’s the MST3K version.

        1. Yeah, the MST3k version is the only version I’ve seen as well. If it ever shows up anywhere I don’t have any problem covering it. There’s plenty to talk about.

  3. I imagine Kirk as both Ronald and Grimace. If Ronald slaughtered Grimace and danced around in his skin, purple junk tucked backed a la Buffalo Bill, you would have Kirk. Just be glad I didn’t say Birdy. Birdy sucks.

  4. Have you guys considered the Final Countdown as a movie to review? It’s streaming on Netflix and I’d love to hear your guys thoughts about a movie that ultimately does NOTHING but give Martin Sheena dog for a couple of hours and get James Franciscus (or whoever that weird eyed guy is) laid.

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