Schlockies

Treatment 156 – The 4th Annual Schlockies

That’s right, THE SCHLOCKIES are back even though the Schlock Jocks were gunned down at the chilling conclusion of our previous episode! Did we died? Is there brain damaged? And like such as? Find of the answers to this and many much more also too!

Schlock Treatment Presents: The 4th Annual Schlockies Awards

WONDER … why you didn’t receive an invitation to attend this prestigious event!!!

FEEL THE MAGIC… as old friends are reunited with old recurring characters and even older jokes!!!

HAVE SOME MORE WINE… with your cheese as we present awards to the best and the worst movies we covered in 2013!!!

Hey, how about when you’re done listening to this episode you head over to iTunes and drop us a review? We also recommend subscribing, so that you don’t miss all the great episodes to come in 2014!

In Two Weeks: (that’s right, we’re taking a break, sue us) we kick off the new year by covering Lair of the White Worm! See you then!

16 thoughts on “Treatment 156 – The 4th Annual Schlockies”

  1. Look who threw a wet blanket on the podcast! MARC’S BACK! You guys were drinking wine at work? Maybe I should tell your bosses.

  2. Good to hear this conversation for the first time.

    Finally tricked Kirk into recording a NoI’se song with me. Told you all we were a real band.

  3. I propose taking Drunk Matt’s anarchic proposal of watching whatever the fuck you want to the logical conclusion and have an episode about “Whatever the fuck you want” where everyone just watches one or more of anything.

  4. A fairly unanimous Sch;ockies this year. My vote for Schlock Jock of the year goes to Kirk for those Kirk things he did this year.

  5. In 1995 Alanis Morissette released “You Oughta Know”, a song about her ex-boyfriend, Dave Coulier. It’s claimed in the song that Alanis once “went down on” Full House’s Uncle Joey “in a theater”. That means she sat there in the darkened movie house and the following notion occurred to her: “I can either continue watching this movie, or publicly suck off Dave Coulier.” She carefully weighed the options and decided the preferable course was to suck Uncle Joey’s dick. We may never know what film was playing that woeful night, but in honor of that act of Canadian public-mouth-fucking, I humbly propose a new Schlocky: I Would Rather Blow Uncle Joey than Watch This Movie Again. My inaugural choice? Legion of Iron, no question.

    1. And, really, what better movie to set the mood for a Public Mouth Fucking?
      By the way, Public Mouth Fucking’s initials are PMF. I also happen to be in a band whose initials are PMF. It’s called Plowing Mud Forever. Here’s a link to that band’s website:
      http://plowingmudforever.com/

  6. Loved The Schlockies, even though I still can’t understand Marc’s hatred of American Astronaut, the best movie you guys saw all year (aside from Shakma.)

    Lair of the White Worm, the current 2014 worst crapfest/best schlock front-runner by default feels like a movie they don’t make anymore (or at least as often.) It feels like a couple of guys started a company with the idea of making horror films based on lesser known public domain novels or stories, punching the stories up slightly, never using the same cast, doing the films as cheap as possible and barely releasing them, all the while watching to see if any of the random actors the used ever struck it big so they could re-release that film and cash in. Now they’d just make a movie about sharks doing random crap in the desert and have an old c-list star get topless. Glory days.

    And since it’s still near The Schlockies, the awards White Worm is sure to win are:
    Best Use of a Vinyl Painting as a Plot Element
    Best Music Only Dream Sequence (on a Plane)
    Worst Snake Charming Anthropologist Using Bagpipes in a Palatial Estate

          1. I’m kind of glad they moved away from topless C-listers, because most C-listers now would be women who were child stars when I was a kid or near-abouts. I thought that would be cool, but I saw the girl who played Shia Lebouf’s sister on a Disney show topless in Mirrors 2 while John Conner from Terminator 3 watched, and it just creeped me the fuck out.

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