Treatment 153 – Jingle All the Way


It’s the first week of December 2013 Month of Holiday Schlock and we forgot to come up with a clever name for this month. But we’re not letting that oversight dampen our holiday spirit! And neither should you! Because this week we’re covering one hell of a nutcracker of a movie.

Jingle All the Way

That’s right, it’s the Arnold Schwarzenegger sort-of-superhero sort-of-comedy movie where an all-star cast boasting such names as Sinbad and Curtis Armstrong stand in the way of one father’s quest to buy his mopey kid a crappy toy for Christmas.

JINGLE YOUR BELLS as Kirk is so out of it he decides to announce what year we are in for some reason, but he gets it completely wrong!!!

ROAST YOUR CHESTNUTS OVER AN OPEN FIRE as Doug reveals his horrifying secret about how he spent his Thanksgiving break!!!

RUN GRANDMA OVER WITH A REINDEER as special guest Abby Denson starts a flame war with next week’s guest!!!

As always, find Jingle All the Way on Netflix Instant. You can, of course, also find our show on iTunes. Please go there and write a review, thanks! Also, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the rest of December! And lastly but not leastly we implore you to head over to the following websites which Abby was plugging on our show. There’s some cool stuff there, so click around a while:

NEXT WEEK: We will be joined by special guest Jonathan Valuckas to cover Knight Rider season 2, episode 12: Silent Knight!!!

12 thoughts on “Treatment 153 – Jingle All the Way”

    1. Thanks, Marc! But you know I don’t like it when you refer to my nipples as “bullet-points” in public. I can’t help the way they are. It’s cold in here.

  1. Thanks so much for having me on the podcast. I had so much fun! You can tell from my nearly non-stop laughter. If Mark and Matt were there too, I might have laughed myself to death (but it would have been worth it).

  2. James Belushi was great in Real Men with John Ritter. I have loved this movie forever but it’s never on Netflix or TV.

    Keep your Shlock eyes peeled for Real Men and Super Fuzz.

    1. Whoa, I just spotted on the Real Men IMDB message board that After Movie Diner covered it already. I guess your Schlock Eyes can go back to Def Con 5.

  3. I watched this movie 12 years ago when some friends and I decided to spend Christmas night watching the crappiest Christmas movie we could find. After suffering through Jingle All the Way, a friend insisted we watch the gift I just gave him, a DVD of The Private Pleasures of John Holmes, his only feature-length gay flick.

    It’s 80 sad minutes of a coke-desperate Holmes trying to penetrate a series of dudes with his half-turgid member to a hideous synth soundtrack. The sickest part is Holmes was HIV+ at the time and in denial. Despite being a video record of three guys possibly contracting the disease that would kill them, all in all it was still a more enjoyable viewing experience than Jingle All the Way.

    1. This is the most fascinating comment we’ve ever received from a Benham-class destroyer. Thanks, USS Wilson! More comments like this, please.

  4. I actually geniunely like Jingle All the Way. I think it’s silly and funny and peopletake it way too seriously. I can watch it anytime. Then again, I also think Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a charming little flick.

    The wrestler in Magic Mike was Kevin Nash, aka Diesel, aka Vinnie Vegas, aka Oz, aka Kevin Nash. He was also in the Sclock Treatment worthy “Dead Or Alive” movie, playing a character who in the game was based on his fellow NWO member Hulk Hogan.

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