JerkStore

Schlock Treatment Jerk-Off!!!

JerkStoreIf you listened to the last episode, you heard the throwdown between Matt  and Marc about who is the biggest jerk on the podcast. And, in the spirit of that little argument, we present:

The Shlock Treatment Jerk-Off!!!!

And, of course, we couldn’t be satisfied with only allowing listeners to choose between Matt and Marc. We thought it was only fair to include everyone…including all our past guests!!! So…vote away!!

Who's the biggest Jerk on Schlock Treatment?

  • Matt Ringler (25%, 28 Votes)
  • Marc McDonald (23%, 26 Votes)
  • Jon Cross (22%, 25 Votes)
  • Christopher Boerger (15%, 17 Votes)
  • Ralph Santiago III (6%, 7 Votes)
  • Mark Prindle (3%, 3 Votes)
  • Dennis Anderson (2%, 2 Votes)
  • Maggie Serota (2%, 2 Votes)
  • Doug Frye (1%, 1 Votes)
  • Kirk Howle (1%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 112

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59 thoughts on “Schlock Treatment Jerk-Off!!!”

  1. Pretty easy choice here:

    Things Marc does: Blocks listeners on Twitter. Finds people having fun and goes out of his way to destroy that, i.e.: deleting secret picture comments, moving the magic garbage can away from Matt and Doug, etc. Denies being friends with people. Constantly tucks shirts in.

    Things Matt does: Calls Marc out on his bad behavior, i.e. all of the above.

    Cut and dry decision.

  2. I think I am the underdog favourite in this race.
    Things I do:
    I am British, therefor superior and therefor a bigger jerk
    I obnoxiously demand to be on your show a lot.
    I aggressively spewed pointless Evil Dead factoids all over your show just to show off and out-jerk Matt
    I continued on with an utterly bizarre and awkward ‘friend’ debate between Matt and Marc at my Birthday movie night. Being an evil puppet master behind the two leading jerks of the show (surely MORE jerky then by default)
    I continue to follow Ryan on Twitter
    My podcasts are 4 days long (really jerky thing to do)
    I really want to win this
    and I have been known to kick puppies (I may have just made that one up)
    VOTE CROSS! VOTE CROSS!

  3. Matt makes good points. All I wanted was to be nice to Marc, because I look up to him as a podcaster. Than he cruelly blocked me for no reason whatsoever. My only crime was being nice.

  4. Matt is obviously the biggest Jerk of the podcast, but in a lovable way as he usurps Marc’s authority and steals the show. Also big thanks to Doug for managing the abacus to keep track of all our votes!

  5. I’m torn between dark-horse one time guest/driver of Grave Digger Dennis Anderson and Christopher Boerger for spelling Berger that way.

  6. Aw, you ALL are a bunch of dick-headed cum-cans. Your show’s premise is to deride and spit upon the “creative” works of others. Now, get over it and get on with your dumb lives. It’s just better that way.

  7. Now, I realize that I will get FLAMED IN THE BUTTHOLE for making a long, drawn-out, thoughtful point by point detailing of why I came to my decision, but some issues do require this level of scrutiny. Nuclear war. Whether to own a mustache. And yes, the “who is a jerk” question.

    I have a 13 page long version which I will gladly make available to anyone who cares to view it at my new website http://www.whoisthebiggerjerkmattmarkdonaldortheringler.co.nz. The condensed version is as follows:

    – At first glance, the Ringler is easily the biggest jerk.
    – However, Marc McDonald introduced me to this podcast and therefore the Ringler and is therefore responsible for every bit of jerkdom Ringler does (which, admittedly, encompasses a great many jerky events. Who can forget the Wikipedia Fiasco of 2012?).

    It is therefore only required that Marc take one small trip down into jerkdom on his own. I had to scour the back episodes to find evidence (side note: there is a 41 page long appendix, also available at http://www.whoisthebiggerjerkmattmarkdonaldortheringler.co.nz, which looks into the question of “does deriding my posts as long-winded and/or boring count”, which I have come down against in an argument far too long to post all of here but which involves the New York City zoo, a pirate ship, and the lovable capybara), and I believe that I have found the offending piece of offense:

    In Episode 73, when Matt Ringler says, and I quote, “there is only one Johnny Slick and he is a son of a bitch”, it takes Marc a full 1.4 seconds to upbraid him. In fact, this upbraiding was later redacted from the program, possibly by Kurt Howle (who, again, passes along whatever jerkosity he may have added to this show to Marc for the same reason the Ringler’s jerkness is passed on); however, there is a clear part in the original where he is clearly trying to decide whether to laff (a second appendix in the aforementioned website, which is http://www.whoisthebiggerjerkmattmarkdonaldortheringler.co.nz, as to the proper spelling of the word “laff” in the context of this argument. This appendix is as long as and frankly as impenetrable as Haruki Murakami’s Japanese novel of magical realism 1Q84) or not. A true unjerk knows that failing to immediately upbraid another man for using Johnny Slick’s name in vain is a mark of jerkdom in and of itself. I would repeat this in all caps to further make my point but I am told that the Ringler now associates the use of all caps with poop so I shall not.

      1. This is fantastic. I clicked on that website hoping their was actually 13 pages breaking these points down. Johnny Slick, you did a good thing here and I give credit when its due. Good job.

  8. Who’s this Jeff Arnold clown? Kirk is the opposite of a jerk. And Jon Cross…he’s an adorable British man.

    1. I can’t see how this would sway my personal vote, but nonetheless I too would like a picture which I can include in my upcoming non-fiction book, “The Story of McDonald and Ringler: A Slow Descent Into The Gates of Being a Sock Puppet of Doug Frye”.

  9. Things I do:
    Come on with full intention of being nice and end up shitting on everyone on the show.
    Attempt to take over the show with my own agenda.
    R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet.
    I spell my name weird.
    I’m funnier than the rest of you.
    I’m Awesome.
    I ranDomly capitalize Letters.

  10. Come on guys, lets stop the negativity. Instead of attacking eachother’s differences, lets celebrate our differences. And if Doug is so “perfect”, why don’t you ask him about Doug Jr.!!!

    1. In Seattle, we had a television program called “Celebrate the Differences”… aw crap. I wasn’t supposed to be using this account for this comment. And, look at that, my delete button is working. Better hit “reply” and hope that RJNC doesn’t figure out what I, Douglas J. Frye, am up to! DAMMIT WHY DID I JUST TYPE THAT

      1. Now I KNOW you’re Doug. Seattle is the kind of place a malcontent hippie like Doug would love!

    1. Christopher keeps voting for himself, which is actually the mark of a true Jerk-Off. He can fight it out with Jon Cross for the title. Neither Marc nor I have any interest.

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